Friends, friends, friends

I am sitting on the upper deck of a 50 foot houseboat moored in the Des Moines, WA Marina. I arrived here to stay with boat owner, Barb, after checking in with Barbara and Charlie in Seattle.

Charlie recognized me and licked my hand for a while when they picked me up at the airport. He’s not a licker, so the gesture meant a lot. He slept next to my back that night, but then moved back to sleep in Barbara’s room before she woke up. He knows who his Mama is. Charlie is more relaxed and has a garden to lie in the sun! Truly a good home for him. Thanks, Barbara.

I took Barb (of the boat) with me to Vancouver where we visited with Canadian friends I hadn’t seen in years. Great reunions and old memories! We ate well and slept well at the Westin Bayshore Resort, a place I began visiting in the 80s. My splurge this trip. Barb and I visited Granville Island, ferried False Creek and walked in Stanley Park. Weather was beautiful.

On our drive back to Seattle, we stopped in LaConner, where I was able to hug my Kenyan friends, Atieno and Manu. They have a shop, Africa Mama, in La Conner. I will see them again in Kenya and am taking them to Zanzibar for a few days. Manu and I accept the disappointment of not finishing his degree in Kenya this year (that was the impetus for this RTW trip!), but he is in the process of finishing his degree at WWU in Bellingham. Like me, he adjusts to the changes in his life and moves forward! I am so proud of him and what he has accomplished against great odds.
I went to a Professional Women’s basketball game the night we got back. Hadn’t done that in over 25 years. Great atmosphere. The Seattle Storm won and Barb’s friend Dav’ne kept me laughing! Can you imagine another me? That’s Dav’ne.

This is PRIDE week in Seattle. A group of 4 of us enjoyed a march on Capital Hill following a social meal at an Italian restaurant. That brought back great memories (some wild and crazy) of my younger days living in and frequenting the area. Many changes, but then, my hair is a different color now! And I dress to cover my assets! 😉

So here I am alone in the sun, breeze in my hair, listening to jets approach and depart SEATAC International airport, and dreaming of visiting friends in Albuquerque next weekend. My heart is full and my soul is ready for another wander!




Relaxation in Kona, Hawaii

A week in Kona already. It has not rained. But I didn’t see the sun for the first two days because of the VOG, which is the haze created by the steamy eruptions of Kilauea. Hundreds of houses have been swallowed up by the lava. When that hits the ocean, it creates a steam which contains chemicals and particles. The wind blows the haze or VOG in our direction. You can see it on the horizon and hanging in the hills. It irritates my eyes and sinuses but does not seem to make my breathing worse.

People have cancelled their bookings and are staying away, so our time here is very relaxed. Servers in restaurants and cafes are happy to see us and traffic is light. Yesterday, we sat out on the edge of the rocks at happy hour and had a front row table. Today we are going to Captain Cook’s place of death to wander and visit some shops and galleries. Tomorrow I will get to hold a seahorse on the tour of the Seahorse breeding program.

The other half of "we" is Liane who owns the condo we occupy and one other. Liane and I met in 1990 and she was with me in Thailand when I broke my ankle while elephant riding. She is an adventurous traveler and will join me for the cruise to Halifax and the safaris in Africa. We laugh at our younger selves and share our stories of trauma and tragedy. Ours is a relaxed and open friendship. Perfect beginning to my RTW!

Just to help you imagine. I get up at 5:30 or 6. Sit and watch the surfers and the birds while sipping coffee. Have breakfast and do my exercises. I go down to the pool or we head out on a drive around 9. We are back by 1 or 2 when I read, chat with Liane, catch up on the news, have a snack, watch Rachel Maddow and go to bed to read at 7. For all you who are working, retirement is worth it!

My US phone number is 509-571-7290.

Off on the biggest trip of my life

I left Wanaka today and won’t be back until mid-January. I am staying near the airport in Queenstown for an early start tomorrow! This Round the World (RTW) trip offers me a chance at continual travel for over 7 months. I guess RVing around the US for over 2 years with Jan prepared me for long term travel. I also know this is the last extensive trip I will take. So every meeting, every stay, every experience will be laid down in my memory for continued enjoyment after the trip ends. I have a sense of being conscious in a heightened way. And I have a sense that you accompany me. We can enjoy this together.

Tomorrow I make 3 flights to arrive on the Big Island of Hawaii. That much time in flight will tax my system. My next blog post will be after recovery. Liane will meet me at the airport in Kona and drive me to her condo where I will fall into bed. So until I am awake and alert in Kona, know that I am looking after myself. And Jan is with me. Cheers for now.

Winter in Wanaka

It has been nearly a month since I returned to NZ. And the cold is a brutal reminder of winter at the foot of the mountains. Luckily my home is easily heated. I am comfortable and healthy.

Some of the settling in work has brought up memories of Jan and her talents. She had so many tools for her work around the house and her ship model making. Locals, if you have a specific need for a power tool, please contact me. I have been going through boxes of paper records and photos, turfing records and getting photos together for scanning. My storage space is limited so most of anything on paper will go to the cloud.

I have organized the kids' stuff. Books, art materials, puppets, games are all in their places. So please come around with the kids. My piano will be moved in on Friday. I have one inside wall that is suitable. I will also retrieve the 2 seater sofa for a comfortable sit in the living room. It is coming together. Soon I will be able to get back to my writing.

As we expected, coming home without Jan pushed me into another level of grief. Finding unfinished projects or little notes from her stops me in my tracks. I cry more frequently and long for her company. And I miss Charlie every day.

But I also feel at home here. Friends pop in regularly and I feel surrounded by love. I have had so many catch-ups with friends and look forward to many more.

Look at Facebook or Instagram for regular updates and photos. Below is a poem I wrote last week that demonstrates the angst associated with unpacking Jan's things.

Unpacking Jan

The cubic cardboard box held

Your mother’s silver service, tarnished

All your degree certificates, framed

A few copies of Kate’s Chair, unsigned

A photo of Manu, cuddling Pooh

Your briefcase, retired a decade ago

A tableaux of you

Inside

          Three boarding passes

To match the Air New Zealand luggage label

          Three ball point pens,

                    Your Mont Blanc fountain pen too precious for travel

          An emery board

          A card of Gaviscon tabs

          Three wrapped toothpicks

                    To guarantee your professional look

          A box of mints

          Three sticking plasters

                    For the nicks in your crafter’s hands

          A handful of business cards

You did love the number three

Is that why you died on the third?

                                                                                                                                                                          Kate Bariletti

         

         

I Have Almost Bought a Car

5 August 2017

Most of you realise that 3 August in the US was the one year anniversary of Jan's death. I spent the day thinking of her, reminiscing, eating ice cream, visiting with Taylor. There were moments of tears, longing for her physical presence, and deep sadness. But overall, I honoured her memory, her magic, her gift of love for 20 years. I remembered her compassion and her staunch belief in my courage. For a day that could have been miserable, it was surprisingly one of contentment. I smiled often. I surprised myself.

The past few days have been spent gathering services for my rental home. I have signed up for movers to bring my things from storage on the 9th. I have contracted electric and gas, SKY TV, and am shopping for Broadband internet service. I am lucky that my new home, which I rent as of 7 August, has fibre cable laid and I can sign up for fast wi-fi. The options are many, with naked service (no fluff or add-ons) taking a hold in New Zealand. At the moment I am vacillating between 2 degrees where I have my cell service and Big Pipe naked broadband, cheaper but no phone service.

The exciting part of setting up life in Wanaka is selecting a car. I have my eye on a Milano Red Honda Jazz RS, a 2015 automatic. The dealership in Dunedin is bringing it to me Monday for a test drive. Subject to success in the drive, I will purchase the car without having left Wanaka! I love when life rolls out your next moves for you! This happened due to some help from Maria and Kevin King who have a connection to the Dunedin Honda dealer. Thank you, friends! You made this acquisition so easy for me!

I have been catching up with friends over coffee or meals. The satisfaction of renewing relationships in person makes me a bit giddy. I am home again. I am happy.

Completion of a Cycle

July 30, 2017

A year comes to a close. A cycle completed. This cycle has seen more movement and transition than any other in my life. One year ago, July 28, Jan suffered an irreversible massive hemorrhagic stroke. She died August 3, 2016 as I held her hand. 

From that day I have used grief to say goodbye, let go of our dreams together, leave the RV life I shared with her, find a new home for Charlie, the dog she rescued from PAWS, return to New Zealand, then to Florida, then to the northwest of the US and finally back to New Zealand which feels more like home than the US. During that time I escaped a tornado and a hurricane, as well as surviving a severe tear on my leg from a dog scrap!

I wouldn't recommend this cycle to anyone, but for me it has been positive, even if frightening and overwhelming at times. I have such love and support from family and friends worldwide. That love was always there when I needed it. I like to consider Jan's death a gift. She always told me I was the most courageous person she knew. The love from all of you allowed me to rely on that courage in myself. I am courageous and I am much loved. The two exist in tandem.

Now that I have finished this year, I look forward to returning to writing, publishing, sewing, baking and being there for others in my favorite little community of Wanaka, .NZ. Please visit, share my space and energy. I look forward to staying put for a while, resting and recharging. Come sit with me. I will have tea and ginger nuts to welcome you! Even if your visit is via Skype or Messenger video.

Thank you for accompanying me on some or all of my journey this year! You helped more than you know.

Charlie has a home.

July 11, 2017

The best news yet: my friend, Barbara Hersey, has told me she will take Charlie and my car. We have known each other since we were 14. She will retire soon and is getting fitted out with a truck and camper for some wandering. So Charlie's adventures will continue. Barbara and I will drive to San Francisco with Charlie and she will return to Seattle with him. My last road trip in the US and a final letting go of the dream Jan and I shared traveling the US. My return to Wanaka in New Zealand will be bittersweet. But so much love awaits me there, the sweet will quickly fill my heart.

It has been a whirlwind traveling across the continent and saying goodbyes to people in the Pacific Northwest. My schedule is full until the leaving date of July 22nd. 

My soul wants to perch somewhere for an extended time and just be. I was crying in a park this past weekend while walking Charlie. I was asking Jan to just put her arms around me, when 2 deer appeared. In the middle of the day. While I was trying to figure out who was visiting me with my brother (who visits me as a deer), a yellow butterfly flew into view. I think it was Dad, Bob and Jan giving me assurance that I am on the right path and they are always with me.